Playing to a "Draw"
Submitted by Sam Sherman
Years ago, Reuben Austen wanted to add a chimney and fireplace to his home.
However, because Reuben was noted for being "slow" in paying his bills, none of the masons in town would take on the job. Finally, however, he did find one who didn't have much work at the time. The mason figured that he might get paid for the job if he did it, but, for sure, he wouldn't if he didn't (a little Cape Cod
logic).
When the job was done, the mason asked to be paid. Reuben said that he'd pay him "first of the week" ; which in Cape Cod lingo was the equivalent of "chase me for it."
Well, the mason left, somewhat disappointed (but not surprised) while Reuben ran inside to try out his new fireplace. Just to be sure, he stuck his head inside and looked up just to make sure that the damper was open and the flue was clear.
Because he could see daylight up at the top, he proceeded to pile in some kindling wood, newspapers, and a few good-sized logs and set a match to it. The house soon filled with smoke. Reuben tried to dowse the fire while the rest of the family had to evacuate the building, coughing and muttering as they went.
With a tone of some irritation, Reuben called up the mason and complained that the fireplace didn't draw "worth a damn", even though he could see daylight up the flue, and could he hurry on down and fix it. The mason answered that he wouldn't be able to get there 'til "first of the week", and that way he'd be able to pick up his money at the same time.
Reuben urged that he'd be able to pay him that day if he'd come down and get the chimney to draw. So, now with his money in his pocket, the mason put a ladder up beside the chimney and climbed up onto the roof.
After a time of chin-rubbing and head-scratching(all for the anxious audience), he dropped a rock down inside the chimney. All could hear the shattering of the pane of glass that the mason had added between courses of brick, and as the pieces tinkled down to the hearth, the chimney began to put up a good, strong draw to the happy applause of the onlookers and the dismay of Mr. Austen.
